Last time I declared that I was living a pretty sweet life. Well, I am. I am truly blessed. But there’s one aspect of my life that I have neglected.
I was hesitant to share with you a personal problem, but then I remembered this is not only a blog but also a personal journal. I’ve always done that (sharing personal things) even on my old blog, so I didn’t understand why it is now a big deal for me. Then again, this is more of an admission of guilt than a mere opening-up.
You see, I’m struggling to read the Bible.
I don’t even remember the last time I really read a Bible verse and took it to heart. There, I said it. I’m not even doing it on purpose. Somehow, it has slipped down my list of priorities, and I find myself falling fast asleep even before opening the Bible (or even at least a Bible app).
What a big mistake.
I feel like I’ve been going through my days uninspired. I haven’t been filled with God’s wisdom, and I feel like I’ve been, you know, simply biding away my time instead of really living. I also realised that this is why I keep losing my patience with Yuri, with Job, and with other people.
I didn’t have the heart to tell Job that I haven’t been reading the Bible lately, although he must have known since he was asking me about it. Whenever he starts a conversation about the verse that spoke to him for that day, I could not respond. I tried but I was fooling no one, especially God.
Via teambod4god.com
So last week, I finally opened up to him about my struggle. I know I should have done it way earlier, but I was so embarrassed. He didn’t scold me or overreacted. He didn’t try to be self-righteous. He simply asked me about the reason (I said I don’t know, which is true) and then prayed for me right then and there.
I’m thankful that even though I don’t belong to a church now (it’s complicated) he leads me in faith and covers Yuri and me in prayer. For the sake of everything, I know I should get this aspect of my life together!
I just want to be right with God again.
21 Comments
Oh Maan. It’s okay. God is not disappointed with you. Hugs. I go through the same struggle too sometimes. Sometimes, it’s because I feel exhausted, sometimes, it’s because I’m too discouraged, I’m “inis”, you know what I mean? Other times, it’s because God seems silent on my prayers. But he never leaves us nor forsake us, despite our limitations. 🙂
I love you for this reply, May. Thank you so much. 🙂
I have the same struggle, Maan, now. What I did I made Beliefnet.com as the website to launch every time I open my browser. That way, I get reminded. 🙂
Thank you for the reminder, Joy! I haven’t read the Bible for the longest time, nor have I gont to church. I have always thought about it, but work always comes in the way. I work too much that I’m too tired to do anything during the weekend–even attending mass.
Who’s Joy? Haha 😛
I couldn’t have said it better. I’m in the same boat right now. I hope to get it right with God as well.
At least you are now back on the right track and inamin mo na so feeling ko, ready ka na to start a new. 🙂 Go lang!
Awww, it’s okay mommy Maan, di madali din ang pagbabasa ng bible because if we are not convicted by the Holy Spirit at basa lang tayo ng basa wala din tayong matutunan. Reading the Word of God needs prayes, and I do believe that God really loves you.
” But his delight is in the law of the Lord; and in his law doth he meditate day and night. And he shall be like a tree planted by the rivers of water, that bringeth forth his fruit in his season; his leaf also shall not wither; and whatsoever he doeth shall prosper”. Psalms 1:2-3
This verse help me a lot to read the bible 🙂
You’re right, Melisa. That’s what I’ve been doing talaga the past months. I was just reading for the sake of reading. Thank you so much!
I’ve been reading the bible but I have to admit that I wasn’t as studious as I was in the bible school. I have even been away from God, it happened to me when I know I have an un-confessed sin. I remember before, we’d have devotion everyday. Now, I don’t do that anymore. I was planning to, but I still haven’t done it. So I can really relate to you Maan. I hope we can both go back with bible reading soon. 🙂
Woah, that made me think Nilyn. I should examine myself; maybe I have an unconfessed sin, too. Let’s rekindle our faiths!
Good to hear that you are now back on track. May God continue to bless you and your family.
I’m guilty Maan. I am missing God’s words in my life too. Thank you for the reminder.
This entry made me guilty. I have a bible right by my bedside that I have not opened in years huhu
xoxo
MrsMartinez
I experienced this before thankfully hubby leads me the way back to God. I never go to church after my mom passed away, I guess I have this feeling of blaming Him for all what happened in our family (my dad passed away earlier). It’s still hurts but I know God has its own plans for me and I keep my trust on Him. God bless you mommy 🙂
i have the same problem and this post has inspired me to brush off the dust on mine..
Oh, you are not the only one. I’m guilty and until now I haven’t made a step forward. Thanks for this reminder.
Oww.. don’t worry Maan, God can see your struggle and this has been His way to bring you back to reading the Bible. Keep it up and God bless!
You’re not alone. I haven’t read the Bible in years although I like to think that despite that my faith in God has never wavered even during hard times. I don’t really belong to a church now too and if someone will ask me why, my answer will also be “It’s complicated”. 🙂
Hi Mommy, you are not alone, I have the same struggle. And my parents are chapter heads of a known fellowship and they keep asking me to join, at least do read the gospel each day. It’s been one of my goals this year, even downloaded an app nga like you. This is a wake up call for me, thank you for sharing. And I want to commend you for being very brave about sharing your personal experience. It’s great to read personal posts, that’s what blogs are for 🙂 And you get to touch more lives… like mine 🙂 Thank you again for this timely reminder…I try to teach my children about Jesus and the bible through their Toddler bible book, I want to live by example. Ang haba na nito, hehe. Thanks again 🙂
Ouch. I kinda felt the same thing but don’t let it get you down so much. I always keep in mind that even if I don’t read the bible as much as the others, I at least stay away from wrong doings to my fellow sons of God.