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There Are Things You Keep To Yourself

There Are Things You Keep To Yourself

I’ve always been a secretive person.

Secretive blogger is not an oxymoron. Nope. You can be a blogger, a personal blogger, and not have to live a life that is an open book. Now, I consider myself a transparent person — I’ve been told that a number of times before — but that only means I’m transparent in the things I choose to share.

Even pre-social media, I’ve never been the type of person who is comfortable sharing all of her secrets. Only a few people know my crushes, my relationships, my most important experiences, my mess. Only a select group of people knows about the things we undergo as a family; only a handful knew about my father’s stroke 9 years back, only a handful knew about my brother’s accident 5 years back, and only a handful knows that my father’s undergoing dialysis now.

This is a personal motto that I’ve always gone by:

The things I value the most are the things I keep to myself.

So when social media came and became the norm, I just unknowingly brought that kind of thinking with me. There are just some things not meant to be shared to the general public. Thank goodness for blogs and privacy settings.

I’ve been bothered by other people’s lack of privacy-consciousness; there are still so many people without any qualms airing their dirty linen in public insisting that they have a right to write anything they want because they have freedom of speech.

And I’m not talking about just dirty linen. I don’t really want to read your sweet exchanges with your lover on my feed — there’s Facebook messenger for that. I don’t really need to know every single thing happening in your life. Sometimes, I think I know more about what is happening to a certain person I don’t really know on Facebook than what is happening to my own siblings.

This is not meant to be an attack against people who love sharing their lives on Facebook. I’m a blogger; I know how fun it is to document stuff. But there is also such a thing called oversharing. What if your boyfriend or girlfriend doesn’t want the world to know the gory details of your relationship? What if that “harmless” picture of your child actually violates his privacy? What if your “freedom of speech” can actually get you charged with online libel?

I thought concern over privacy was losing its popularity, so when I chanced upon this picture, I breathed a sigh of relief. Privacy, in the age of social media, still exists.


Word.

Posted by Maan Laxa on Monday, 26 October 2015

I’m more comfortable sharing my thoughts in my own blog because at least I’m not forcing people to read details of my life against their will. At least that’s what I think. I mean, there’s a huge difference between consciously clicking on a person’s blog — you expect to read what they wrote — and writing a novella describing what’s going on in your life as a status update knowing that it will appear on your Facebook friends’ timelines against their will.

There is someone on my Facebook friends list who consistently shares the ups and downs of his relationships. Everyone would be in-the-know regarding their LQs, and he would share status messages trash-talking his current girlfriend. Then, the next day, they’d be okay. They may be okay, but I don’t know how he could ever get those words back.

There is also someone on my friends list who once declared, proudly, that another person’s full wage was just her tax deduction. Now, her high salary is inversely proportional to the amount of respect people have for her.

There is also someone not on my friends list — much to my relief — who always shares almost-naked pictures. Aside from that, she would write lengthy status messages destroying other people’s reputations. I hope she finds out that she can serve 8 years in jail for online libel.

These are pretty much the basic stuff that can’t be shared. Love life? Please, keep it to yourself. There’s nothing wrong with sharing pictures online, but please, spare us the details. The only people who need to know the ins-and-outs of your relationship is, guess who, you. 

Income? We don’t care. And don’t be a douche. Period.

Next move? It’s a personal thing. Keeping my plans a secret is already second nature for me, but if you are more comfortable sharing them and claiming them publicly, go ahead. In my opinion, it’s not really offensive to read about other people’s plans (though it can be to their disadvantage).

And the rest? The trash talking, dirty linen, and the stories that other people entrusted to you for you to keep secret, they have no place in your social media profile. Take a good look at your friends list. Look at the ones you barely know at all. Do you want them knowing these details about your life? No? Then don’t share.

Again, there are things you need to keep to yourself.

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20 Comments

  • Reply Kate Acuzar October 28, 2015 at 10:38 am

    On point 🙂
    Kate Acuzar recently posted…Almost Terrible TwoMy Profile

  • Reply chasen October 28, 2015 at 10:47 am

    I feel you. There are really annoying facebook statuses. I have “unfriended”/”unfollowed” people who keep on flooding negative stuff/thoughts on my newsfeed.
    As to privacy, I have been very careful on what to share on facebook. I only share happy/funny/inspiring thoughts and pictures. And there are also times that I even ask the opinion of my husband on whether or not to post certain pictures. “Okay lang bang ipost to? Hindi ba mukhang papansin or mayabang?” Haha.

  • Reply edelweiza October 29, 2015 at 5:35 pm

    True. There are actually many things we should keep to ourselves. Good thing FB now has block, unfriend, and unfollow buttons. Still waiting for that unlike button I heard is coming soon. 🙂
    edelweiza recently posted…Christmas Shopping 2015My Profile

  • Reply Chessy October 30, 2015 at 2:56 pm

    Some people really need to undergo Social Media 101! I cringe at my friends’ and relatives’ minute by minute update on where they are, what they are doing, who they’re fighting with, etc! I think they forgot that not everybody wants to know what they’re up to! Yes, it might be their Facebook wall, but sometimes they are also putting others at risk.
    Chessy recently posted…Rockin’ it Out with School of Rock!My Profile

  • Reply Pearliza Paguio October 30, 2015 at 3:19 pm

    It’s really healthy to share everything in blogs or social media. Me and my husband made an agreement that if ever we fight that we wouldn’t share it on any social media sites. Besides There’s too many negativity in the world.

  • Reply Kim Reyes October 30, 2015 at 4:05 pm

    All true! I made the mistake of sharing one gory detail about a relationship before. I learned my lesson and became picky about what I share in public (online and offline – plus I choose who I share my problems/worries with because some people only listen so they’d get the dirty deets about my life).
    Kim Reyes recently posted…Love At First Taste at Youl’s Friends Korean Food HausMy Profile

  • Reply Jhanis October 30, 2015 at 5:02 pm

    I am also careful about what I post on social media but when I see these kinds of stuff posted on FB and twitter, I usually just shrug it off. Maybe it’s the person’s way of coping? We’ll never know. But I agree, that there are things better kept in private. Thought provoking post! 🙂
    Jhanis recently posted…Thank you…My Profile

  • Reply Ma.Me.Mi.Mommy October 30, 2015 at 7:42 pm

    I remember long long time ago when we were newly married and I complained about a little thing on fb about the husband. That sure flared him up. Since then, I’ve learned that it’s not the right place to vent out.
    Ma.Me.Mi.Mommy recently posted…5 Takeaways from my 5-Hour Voter Registration ExperienceMy Profile

  • Reply Gilian October 30, 2015 at 8:24 pm

    “there’s a huge difference between consciously clicking on a person’s blog — you expect to read what they wrote — and writing a novella describing what’s going on in your life as a status update knowing that it will appear on your Facebook friends’ timelines against their will.”
    That’s also the reason why I’d rather post things on my blog than on my FB. In blog, it’s their choice to read it. Like reading at your own risk. In FB, people sometimes don’t want to read everuthing that’s going on. 🙂
    Gilian recently posted…The Writer’s Manifesto: The Heart and Art of WritingMy Profile

  • Reply Balot's Chatter (@lotusshiella) October 31, 2015 at 9:04 am

    So true. There are just things that better keep within ourselves rather than shout-out to the world and become the topic of everyone’s talk. Some over share their life stories but they may have their reasons that we may not understand… and I guess its how we react matters too.
    Balot’s Chatter (@lotusshiella) recently posted…#AttitudeGratitude: 30 Things I’m Grateful ForMy Profile

  • Reply May De Jesus-Palacpac October 31, 2015 at 9:46 am

    Yes, I was just saying that. There should be a good amount of restraint. Ako talaga ang hindi ko makayanan minsan is yung puro selfie lang and forever nega rant. Galit sa mundo.
    May De Jesus-Palacpac recently posted…Intentional Blogging #3: Discovering the Housewife’s voiceMy Profile

  • Reply Mommy Queenelizabeth October 31, 2015 at 7:07 pm

    i can feel you.. there are tons of friends in my facebook account that i unfollowed, and too many times i wanna unfriend them but i can’t. well, im still trying to be nice anyway but i never really want to see their updates (kulang nalang pati pagto-toothbrush ipopost!)Lol! There are 3 things that we should keep to ourselves; relationship, income, and next move.
    Mommy Queenelizabeth recently posted…Mommy Bloggers at the Blogapalooza 2015: #ResponsibleMediaMy Profile

  • Reply Ruth November 2, 2015 at 12:11 pm

    True. I’m really against this behavior of some of people on social media. Grabe nawawala yung tunay na purpose ng social media.
    Ruth recently posted…Comment on Bakedhoven Reviews: Kat’s Cafe by Ayi Dela CruzMy Profile

  • Reply Mommy Anna November 2, 2015 at 3:19 pm

    There are things that we need to keep within our selves hindi lahat post sa social media. Some of my fb friends are like this they keep on posting even away, hiwalayan or kung ano ano pa na negative vibes.

  • Reply MrsMartinez November 3, 2015 at 5:53 pm

    I also don’t like reading trash talk statuses on my feed. I almost always unfriend and block that person hehe

    xoxo
    MrsMartinez

  • Reply Mhaan Arambulo-Delos Santos November 3, 2015 at 9:40 pm

    I’m a secretive person when it comes to personal problems especially when it comes to hubby hehhe. Ewan ko, nagkataon lang na bago ko nababanggit sa kanila na solve na namin. Maybe I don’t want people know what we really going through. Sa social media naman, I never post negative vibes, kasi kahit ako naiirita kapag nakakabasa ng negative posts, unfollow ko agad siya heheh
    Mhaan Arambulo-Delos Santos recently posted…REDUCIN: Weigh Your OptionsMy Profile

  • Reply Peachy @ The Peach Kitchen November 17, 2015 at 5:28 am

    It’ true there are a lot of things that we should be keeping private. That photo you shared is really powerful and says a lot.
    Peachy @ The Peach Kitchen recently posted…#EastMeetsFlavor at WingstopMy Profile

  • Reply jared's mum November 19, 2015 at 12:42 pm

    i cannot agree with you more. i simply do not get those who just have to share everything and anything on Facebook or their blogs. There are really things we ought to keep to ourselves, blogger or not.
    jared’s mum recently posted…Another Gen-S Story: Honda Launches The All New Honda RS150My Profile

  • Reply Denise November 19, 2015 at 7:15 pm

    After years in social media, I learned to swipe or scroll as fast as I can when I don’t want what I see. But you’re right, there are some people who just can’t control to share their lives in the open.
    Denise recently posted…Please Remind Me To / 01My Profile

  • Reply Lady Anne Louise Barrun December 14, 2015 at 11:38 am

    Yes you are right. I make sure that I will only post positive vibes on my timeline and keep personal things on myself or to those who close to me. I really find immature when people shares their personal feelings especially LQs and “parinig”
    Lady Anne Louise Barrun recently posted…Marriage Tips I Learned from A Second ChanceMy Profile

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