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Today I Failed At Parenting

Some days I feel like I’m on top of everything. I have a very supportive and loving partner, my son is kindhearted and smart, and I have a great job. My family’s healthy and we are not in need.

And then there are days when I just feel like a total failure. There are days when I have to resort to feeding my son junk like canned food or hotdogs. Days when I have to let him use the phone or the tablet because I’m chasing deadlines at work. And days when I have to bribe him with the promise of gummy candies because I’ll be out the whole night attending a real estate event.

(Let’s not talk about the days I go over budget, both in money and calories…)

Whoever told me that parenting gets easier when the child gets older is wrong. It’s not exactly more difficult — I’ll still take problematic school days over sleepless nights — but I think it gets more challenging.

I thought I was ready for those challenges. Apparently I’m not. Because there are days, just like today, when I totally mess up.

All along, I thought the school’s quiz bee was today. Yuri is in the afternoon class, but the quiz bee will be held in the morning, so we have to be in school early. I had to make adjustments to my work schedule. Since I’ll be in school watching for a period of time, I volunteered to start my work early. I was already up at 3:30 am and was on my laptop by 4 am.

Of course Yuri had to wake up early, too. Since he usually goes to school after lunch, I allow him to sleep until 7:30 or even 8 am. But today he had to be up by 5:30 am. It was probably the Mondayest of Mondays; it was a frantic morning in our household as we were in a hurry to eat, get dressed, prepare, etc. And I was also doing some last minute updates for work.

On top of it all, we got stuck in traffic. I was really worried because we were already late and the cars aren’t moving. By the time we arrived at school, the students were already inside the classroom.

The prefects of discipline for elementary and middle school were at the school entrance. Both of them were my teachers when I was still a student so they were a bit friendly with me and Yuri even went up to mano. It’s a good thing kindergarten students don’t get tardy slips! At least that’s one good thing.

We hurried to go to the classroom… only to notice that none of Yuri’s classmates were there, only the kindergarten students from the morning class. Yuri dutifully went inside despite noticing this while his teacher went outside to talk to me.

The quiz bee got rescheduled, ma’am. Sa Wednesday pa. No class for the afternoon class today.

I already knew that there was no afternoon class. But I honestly thought quiz bee was today because that’s the first schedule I was told. And why else would we choose to go to school on a Monday morning, right? Yuri’s teacher was very gracious and apologized for the incident. I can’t blame her. There was a mix-up. Last Friday, which happened to be the kids’ Scout Play Day, they announced that the quiz bee will be on Monday. The teacher who announced it must have corrected herself but I didn’t pay attention anymore. Also, it was very noisy, with a gym full of young Kab scouts.

Yuri’s teacher must have told me about the rescheduling, too, but either I didn’t hear it or I misinterpreted it.

She offered to let Yuri stay in the classroom together with the morning class since we were already there. When I asked Yuri what he wanted to do, though, he just wanted to go home. He was visibly upset but he didn’t complain or whine. This kid gets self-conscious very easily so I hope you can imagine that this was quite a big deal for him…

I was upset and frustrated, too, because who wouldn’t? I already made big adjustments and planned my day around this event and it turns out I was dead wrong. However, I couldn’t really blame anyone because it was partly my fault.

We went home immediately because we were still sleepy and I still needed to work. I got over my frustration pretty soon but I was still feeling guilty over dragging Yuri off to school so early in the morning when he should’ve been sleeping and resting, just like his other classmates. I felt guilty because he relied on me, his mother, and I failed him. He was very obedient and uncomplaining even though he felt embarrassed. I’m glad none of the kids made fun of him because he’s friends with a lot of the students from the morning class. So I know he got over it immediately as kids often do, but I still feel like I completely failed at parenting.

Some of you must be rolling your eyes at me now. I know this is not a big issue. I know this is not the most difficult problem in the world. Still, I can’t help but think I let my child down today.

Do you still get a feeling of inadequacy? How do you deal with it?

Lifestyle Mixed Mess Shopping

Dental Appointment + Outfit Twinning + School Supplies Shopping

Happy mother’s day! Personally, even though I’m a mama myself, I don’t really celebrate mother’s day. However, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with it either. So if it empowers you as a mother, go ahead and celebrate your being awesome!

Dental Appointment

Last weekend was another full weekend for me. Saturday was Yuri’s and my sister’s dental appointment. My sister had her teeth “molded” in plaster in preparation for her braces. Her teeth were overlapping so she needs to have them fixed.

Yuri was also scheduled for a check-up. Good news is that unlike last year, where he didn’t even want to sit on the chair by himself, now he did it willingly and without any prodding.

The bad news is that some of his molars had decay (this, despite brushing his teeth 2-3 times a day — sugar is the culprit, as usual) and our dentist recommended filling them in. Yikes! Yes, we are serious about dental hygiene, but Yuri does eat a lot of bread and pasta and sweets. So there. Also, I’m also suspecting Yuri’s current toothpaste, but it’s just a suspicion not to be taken seriously lels.

Dentist’s tip: Even if your oral hygiene is great, if you eat a lot of carbs and sugar in between brushing, you’re still at risk of getting cavities. In her words, it’s not just how often you brush your teeth but what you eat in between. So limit carbs and sugar! 

As we all know, filling requires taking out the decaying part of the tooth by “grinding” them. She told me she will have to refer me to a pediatric dentist because most boys Yuri’s age don’t cooperate and need to be sedated. I wasn’t comfortable with the idea of sedation, and I think our dentist (she’s been our dentist since I was a toddler) noticed that, so she asked me if I would like her to try filling just one tooth. I agreed, of course. I’m much more comfortable with her compared to a new dentist.

“Grinding” hehe

Yay yay yay! Yuri did not only fully cooperate but also didn’t even cry. Thank you, Lord! He flinched at the first touch of the “grinder” but didn’t move away from it or complain. When Doc was done, he even gave her a thumbs-up sign. We could’ve proceeded with another tooth but there was another patient waiting so we’ll return next week. Hopefully everything will be finished before the school year starts.

Tired from the appointment? Hahaha

Outfit Twinning with Yuri!

I may not necessarily celebrate Mother’s Day but that doesn’t mean I won’t dress up for it! My close friend, JM, sells twinning outfits for mothers and daughters, but occasionally, she sells mom and son outfits. When one came out in Yuri’s size, I just had to get it.

Dress from Mommy Trends, old cardigan, old Coach bag, Crocs flats
Yuri: Shirt from Mommy Trends, Oshkosh shorts, Converse sneakers

Wow I miss doing an OOTD! I rarely have OOTD photos taken nowadays because I feel insecure about how I currently look lol but I just can’t help it with this outfit. I find it so cute! I love that it’s not tacky (in fact, you will need to be really observant to notice that our outfits match) but they look good together.

It’s in the details

And I’m not just saying this because JM is my friend. I really love the clothes and I love how I look in it haha!

School Supplies Shopping

Why is it that the younger the student is, the longer the list of supplies?! Yuri’s requirement list, which we got from school after we enrolled (which reminds me — I forgot to write a post about it!), is an entire bond paper filled with names of supplies. And that’s just the basics.

I wasn’t planning to buy school supplies earlier because I wanted to set a date for it to get everything done. However, at Gaisano Mall (we like going to Gaisano Mall now because the Pop-Tarts are there haha), I saw that the entire atrium was turned into a school supply fair. While I love National Bookstore, the prices are lower in GMall. For example, a box of Crayola So-Big in NBS is like P110; there, an exact same box is just P88. Elmer’s Glue is P25 for 50 ml; there it’s just P19. A big difference considering my tendency to hoard, and the fair is right there in front of me, so I decided to just buy whatever I could buy.

There were also socks, underwear, uniforms, bags, lunch boxes and bags, even hygiene stuff. Virtually everything a student’s going to need for school. So I bought na what I can buy. 

Just a feeeewwww of what I bought. I didn’t take a picture of the entire haul anymore because it’s just boring academic stuff lels

I was personally curious about the lesson plan notebooks and the So Big Crayolas. They’re required to use lesson plan notebooks (with blue and red lines), and I saw K-12 ones from DepEd itself. So maybe it’s also a requirement in other schools? I don’t know. I do remember that when I was in Grade 1, we used lesson plan notebooks, too.

Yuri has never used So Big crayons. When he was about 2, I bought him toddler crayons that he rarely used since our old crazy yaya misplaced them. I saw them again just last year and they’re still unused. Yuri has always used regular crayons and never had a problem using them even when he didn’t know how to hold a pencil. So it came to me as a surprise that his school is requiring So Big crayons. I thought they were for nursery students or something. I didn’t know Senior Kindergarteners were also using them. Will the teacher allow Yuri to use regular crayons if he finds these jumbo ones too uncomfortable to use? Hmmm….

There were some items on my list that I didn’t find there but at least I’m already more than halfway done with school shopping. Woot woot!

How did you spend your weekend, mommies?