I have a heavy burden… and it’s not metaphorical.
Just a segue before I begin. Last week, two of my closest friends separately unloaded their troubles on me. One is one of my oldest and bestest friends while the other is my work colleague. I’m not in the position to disclose their problems – and I don’t think I even have the right to talk about them – but being chosen to be their confidante is a privilege.
Open note to these two friends. To my work co-pilot, you are a smart & strong woman and I’m sure you are ready to face whatever life throws your way. But I’m happy you got the outcome you were hoping for. 🙂
To my dear friend: I’m here and you were never, are not, will not ever be a burden to me. I cannot in good conscience allow you to be miserable and I want you to find your happiness. I want you to find yourself , a bright future, a new hope in life. And hey, love, too! I love you and will always be your biggest fan.
But my friends’ dilemmas are not the “burden” that I’m referring to. No, not at all, I didn’t even feel the weight. There, I just gave you the clue. Weight.
I have a heavy burden. It’s not metaphorical, and it weighs 63 kilos.
I’m currently obsessing over my weight while munching on a chocolate cupcake. Life is not fair hahaha. I know I should be losing weight already (my officemates and I “agreed” on wearing bikinis on our next trip – well, reluctantly agreed), so I shouldn’t be eating carbs and sugar anyway.
During times like this, I wish it was 2012 – mid 2014 all over again.
During those fabulous years, I was still largely breastfeeding then-little Yuri. Of course, he was eating solids before he was 1, but he still nursed several times during the day. In fact, even in 2014, when Yuri was already 2++ years old, he was still nursing several times during the day. So even if I had a big appetite, I was still burning a lot of calories without me having to leave my seat. I barely gained weight even though I ate like a horse.
I was looking through my Instagram feed and found some depressing pictures:
Never mind my armpit on the last picture. I just gave birth for crying out loud. Gimme a break 😛
(There’s also another reason why I love 2012; I didn’t have my period until a month before Yuri turned 1! Bwahaha)
But those lovely, fabulous days are over. Ever since I stopped nursing Yuri a month before he turned 3, I started gaining weight. Like crazy. As in, I’m not even this fat 6 months ago. I steadily and quickly gained weight each day. I am now 10 pounds overweight and almost 20 pounds from my desired weight. All because I weaned.
(And because I’m still a sugar addict, but let’s focus on weaning for now.)
Let’s talk about weaning.