Lifestyle Parenting Personal

Let’s Talk About Weaning and Why I Did It

I’m currently obsessing over my weight while munching on a chocolate cupcake. Life is not fair hahaha. I know I should be losing weight already (my officemates and I “agreed” on wearing bikinis on our next trip – well, reluctantly agreed), so I shouldn’t be eating carbs and sugar anyway.

During times like this, I wish it was 2012 – mid 2014 all over again.

During those fabulous years, I was still largely breastfeeding then-little Yuri. Of course, he was eating solids before he was 1, but he still nursed several times during the day. In fact, even in 2014, when Yuri was already 2++ years old, he was still nursing several times during the day. So even if I had a big appetite, I was still burning a lot of calories without me having to leave my seat. I barely gained weight even though I ate like a horse.

I was looking through my Instagram feed and found some depressing pictures:

 

A photo posted by Marie Angeli Laxa (@maanlaxa) on

A photo posted by Marie Angeli Laxa (@maanlaxa) on

A photo posted by Marie Angeli Laxa (@maanlaxa) on

Never mind my armpit on the last picture. I just gave birth for crying out loud. Gimme a break 😛

(There’s also another reason why I love 2012; I didn’t have my period until a month before Yuri turned 1! Bwahaha)

But those lovely, fabulous days are over. Ever since I stopped nursing Yuri a month before he turned 3, I started gaining weight. Like crazy. As in, I’m not even this fat 6 months ago. I steadily and quickly gained weight each day. I am now 10 pounds overweight and almost 20 pounds from my desired weight. All because I weaned.

(And because I’m still a sugar addict, but let’s focus on weaning for now.)

Let’s talk about weaning.

First of all, I’d like to be upfront about it and tell you that Yuri didn’t stop nursing on his own. In fact, if he had his way, he would have been still breastfeeding now. I’m 101% sure about it.

However, I had to wean him off the breast for important reasons. First, I just got rid of our yaya, so I was his only primary carer now. When he had a yaya, he was almost always distracted from having to nurse because he had someone to “play” with. However, now that it’s almost always (there’s the phrase again) just the two of us, I am the distraction. He interprets 24/7 of togetherness to 24/7 nursing. That’s coming from a boy who is almost three. I know you’ll think I’m selfish, but I was just so tired of nursing, doing household chores, running after a toddler, and working.

Speaking of working, my second reason was work. I was working full-time. I’ve been working full-time since 2012, but then again, there was yaya to be my righthand. After I lost a yaya, I couldn’t anymore afford to type on the computer (I was an essay instructor then) while nursing a child. It was just too much for me.

Third, my joints and bones were becoming too brittle. I don’t know if it happened to you, too, fellow nursing mums, but ever since I started nursing (which was pretty much from Day 1 – almost, anyway), I suddenly had weak knees. This is the reason why I couldn’t run as much as I used to. Now that we’ve weaned, I’m still on the way to recovery. #chos

The fourth and my final reason is I knew Yuri was ready. As a mum, I just knew it. I wasn’t just guessing either. I knew it from the way he wouldn’t really nurse but just suck — for fun. He was using the breasts as other kids would use a pacifier or a blankie. As an almost 3-year old, he wasn’t relying on breast milk for nutrition at all because he was barely getting milk in the first place.

I showed Yuri that he doesn’t have to look for comfort in the breasts. I showed him that my hugs and kisses are always there, free and unlimited, whenever he feels scared or uncomfortable.

know with all my heart how breastfeeding provides security and comfort, but I came to a point where, whenever he would ask to nurse, I would feel annoyed or burdened instead of relaxed and, you know, motherly. As a mother, I stopped finding comfort in breastfeeding and, in turn, I knew I wasn’t really providing Yuri the atmosphere that he deserved. Because nursing was already negative for me, and it was already costing me my sanity, I decided it was now time to wean.

And when we finally weaned, I knew it was the right decision. Yuri was not sad – not at all – not when I immediately gave him unlimited cuddles that made him feel secure. He didn’t have to nurse from mummy to find comfort; he realised he could just relax and snuggle in the crook of my arm. He didn’t even miss nursing.

Occasionally, just for fun, I would offer him the breastfeed, and he would just politely refuse. Okay, I’m kidding. He never politely refused. He would pretend to look disgusted and say “Yuck, disgusting!” Then he would smile and say “Joke!”

As for me, sometimes, I regret not being able to take a picture of our last breastfeeding session. I couldn’t even remember the date. I couldn’t remember any detail — at all. That’s because I didn’t know that was the last. I just told Yuri that he’s a big boy now and that mama wants to rest from breastfeeding na. He just understood it. Until now, he still says he’s a big boy now and that he wants me to rest from nursing. And he’s fine with it.

As long as there’s still unlimited hugs and cuddles.

What are your thoughts on weaning?

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10 Comments

  • Reply May De Jesus-Palacpac September 9, 2015 at 1:08 pm

    I never really had any problem weaning any of my kids which is good, I had too much in my plate at that time, I wouldn’t have been able to handle it.

    I’m currently obsessing about my weight, too, I agree, life’s definitely NOT FAIR (pops in a handful of Cheetos into mouth), hahaha!
    May De Jesus-Palacpac recently posted…Tuna, Mushrooms and Capers Pasta DishMy Profile

  • Reply Melisa Sanchez September 9, 2015 at 1:27 pm

    I’m a breastfeed mom also to my 17 months old zd, and I was planning to wean him I think or maybe this coming november. Because my husband told me na before sya uuwi dapat di na dumedede si zd lol! But am still thinking about it hehe.

  • Reply Celerhina Aubrey ★ September 9, 2015 at 6:24 pm

    OMG! I can’t even imagine. Breastfeeding for 1.5yrs now and I don’t think my little girl is ready. Too early. Sometimes I would think about it just because her suck are a bit stronger now but I know I’ll miss it. Sana di naman ako tumaba pag nag wean ako. Diosmio!
    Celerhina Aubrey ★ recently posted…Review: ArroZeria (Century City Mall, Makati)My Profile

  • Reply Neri Ann September 9, 2015 at 7:38 pm

    “The fourth and my final reason is I knew Yuri was ready. As a mum, I just knew it. I wasn’t just guessing either. I knew it from the way he wouldn’t really nurse but just suck — for fun. He was using the breasts as other kids would use a pacifier or a blankie.”

    Maybe it’s about time na din for me and my Twin 2, kasi feeling ko ganyan na lang din sya nagsasuck na lang na parang gusto lang maglambing minsan parang sobra na. And I am also tired from work when he wanted to be breastfeed eh onti na lang naman gatas ko. Saka I don’t have enough sleep na din kasi hindi ako makatulog habang nagpapabreastfeed sa kanya.
    Neri Ann recently posted…A Taste of Japan: Rosanjin Japanese RestaurantMy Profile

  • Reply Dulce September 9, 2015 at 9:12 pm

    I had to wean my 19 month old boy because of health reasons. i had to force him kasi di na talaga sya pwedeng mag.nurse sa akin. it was a painful process (lots of crying from both of us) kasi agad-agad and we weren’t prepared for it. buti nalang, nasanay na sya na hugs and kisses nalang ibigay ko when he’s about to sleep. mahirap talaga maging isang ina 🙂
    Dulce recently posted…It’s all about the good food at 30 Kitchen + BarMy Profile

  • Reply RJ Dancel September 9, 2015 at 9:36 pm

    Weaning is such a scary scary thought. My son’s 3 months old and I feel like he might have to wean cause I’m not producing enough breastmilk. I feel scared cause I don’t want to lose that “bond” we have. I also work and I run a small business. Sometimes I blame myself for having so much on my plate, but it’s the only way to earn for my little hippo! 🙂

  • Reply Mhaan Arambulo-Delos Santos September 9, 2015 at 9:51 pm

    Im a bf mom to my 8months old son, planning to bf him as long as he wants. Im thankful to breastfeeding because same as you i lose my weight from it even I eat like there’s nothing tomorrow hehehe. Expected ko na din na i will gain weight once I wean my son from my breast hehehe.

  • Reply Ma.Me.Mi.Mommy September 9, 2015 at 10:57 pm

    I can relate to the bones and joints thing. I suddenly feel so old! Ugh! My 2 year old still wants to be breastfed but more for sleeping than for nourishment. When he asks for milk, I’d ask him if he’s hungry, he’d say no. I’d then ask him if he’s sleepy. Yes. Hay. I’m so ready for him to wean already. I’m wondering how to force him out of it without waking the whole house from his cries.
    Ma.Me.Mi.Mommy recently posted…Burger King’s Grill and Chill CookoutMy Profile

  • Reply Nilyn Matugas September 10, 2015 at 12:08 pm

    Nate is starting to do the pacifier thingy on my breasts. Gusto lang paglaruan ang dede ko. I wanted to wean him already, but he didn’t like any formula milk (or should I say, any milk that’s on a glass, he doesn’t like). So I hope when the time is right, I can wean him na.. Hirap jud mag WAHM unya naay sigeg tutoy! haha.
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  • Reply Rose Angelie September 10, 2015 at 8:03 pm

    I can’t exactly remember when I stopped nursing my son, but I’m quite sure it was before he turned one. Yes, too early since I was working full-time and parang suddenly he got used to bottle-feeding na and I was no longer producing my own milk. Nakakamiss!
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