So I got involved in a, well, serious matter concerning an organisation I belong to. I don’t want to talk about it, really, but I’m mentioning it because it led me again to a very dear person tonight.
This person I will always keep in my heart is my brother (fraternity brother) who died last year. Almost exactly a year ago. I’m going to be cheesier than the usual so bear with me. That’s a fair warning, I guess.
That “serious matter” I mentioned had me looking through my old email account for messages that can be used as pieces of evidence. I had to recover my password using my phone number (thank goodness I’m still using my old number – almost 9 years old!) and I was able to log in successfully. However, I didn’t find anything useful, so I decided to install Yahoo Messenger on my laptop in case some conversations were stored there.
I haven’t checked or even seen Yahoo Messenger for maybe 6 years now so I was feeling a bit nostalgic.
The nostalgia intensified when I came across my beloved friend’s name, Rendell Ryan, whom we fondly called “Perper.” 6th of November last year, I just got home from my godson’s birthday celebration when I received the bitter news from a couple of schoolmates and a sorority sister. Our dear Perper had died and in a violent manner. I wasn’t able to sleep that night. At first I was just in a state of morbid shock. Then it sank in and I bawled my eyes out and grieved.
He wasn’t just someone from the fraternity-sorority I belong to; if anything, he was a real brother to me, a slightly younger blood brother I never had. I grieved for the loss of a loved one, I grieved for the loss of a young life. But that was it. There wasn’t anything I couldn’t do. He was gone from this earth.
I knew his death anniversary came up last week, so I remembered him and prayed for him. But this night, I don’t know what has gotten into me; I just realised I miss him so much! Which is why when I came across his name on Yahoo Messenger, I tried retrieving old conversations. But in vain; I couldn’t retrieve any conversation history with any contact. YM, what’s good?
So I went to good old Facebook and tried looking for old chat messages. Thank goodness Facebook keeps conversations with deleted accounts. Here are some of the last chat exchanges we’ve had before he finally said goodbye. (Oh wait, he didn’t say goodbye! Never mind.)
Hey. I’m sure you’ll be glad to know that I no longer bawl my eyes out when I think of you. Don’t worry; while my heart still bleeds, I have come into terms that I shall never see you again in this life. But I will forever cherish you and your friendship, and I’ll be forever thankful that I have known a wonderful person like you.
Second to you-know-whose, yours is the most beautiful heart I’ve ever had the pleasure of knowing.
I know you are in a better place.
Love, with all my heart,