Monthly Archives

July 2015

Lifestyle Yurisms

Yurisms: I Dropped the Alligator

Yuri is a handful.

There, I said it.

I was so happy when we got out of the so-called Terrible Two’s stage unscathed. He was always a well-behaved child who was normally active and only seldom threw tantrums.

I was wrong. The real challenge is when your child turns three. 

Don’t get me wrong; Yuri still has a mostly happy disposition and could very well behave when needed. However, at this age, he’s also beginning to have a stronger personality and know the fine art of manipulating adults. He still isn’t into throwing tantrums – I guess that goes with the fact that I either ignore him or laugh at him when he attempts to – but can pretend-cry to see if he can get what he wants.

But despite these, I love many things about this age. One of these things is the funny things kids say. Yuri has his own share of funny anecdotes! Here are the funny stuff he recently did:

Alligator Drop

One day, I heard a soft crash – clearly, something fell (or was dropped) in the bedroom nearby. As expected, Yuri came running to me and said,

Nahulog ko alligator mo.

Me: Anong alligator?

Yuri: Yung alligator na gamit mo.

I was confused and kept asking him what that alligator was until he showed me what he meant:

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Lifestyle WAHM Diaries

A WAHM’s Simple Home Office

home office

It’s Monday again! It’s time to rise and grind!

Because I’m working for an Australian company, my work day begins much earlier than most people’s work days – or at least much earlier than the hours I used to work. I usually begin working at 6 am to 7 am, and since my boy’s still asleep by that time (we co-sleep), the first part of my work day is usually done in bed. Which means I’m usually reading emails and replying to messages lying down and with droopy eyes.

But a couple of hours later, I “magically” transform from a slob into a professional-looking WAHM. Aside from the fact that I will have already eaten breakfast by then, working in my own home office does the job. I admit it also boosts my productivity!

This home office is not just mine; half of it (most probably more) belongs to my mother, while I have my own space in it. You see, we both need a home office because most of the work we do are done at home. We are both real estate practitioners, and she is the purok leader while I’m working as an assistant editor for Stay At Home Mum Australia.

We used to do our work inside the house, but my dad got fed up with papers and laptops blocking passageways at home that they finally had an office constructed last summer. It’s nothing big really. It’s just an annex that is a little smaller than your regular single bedroom, but we love it!

Here are some pictures of the inside:

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Parenting

Hands-On Parenting While Earning Summit

HOPE Summit

There are a lot of things I love about living in Davao, but I admit living far from Metro Manila also has its consequences. One of them is not being able to attend workshops that I would have really loved to attend! An example is the upcoming HOPE or Hands-On Parenting while Earning Summit. I mean, it calls out to me – as a hands-on parent and full-time WAHM, I really wish I could attend this workshop.

Since I could not attend it, I hope you guys can! Here’s the information about the summit:

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Food Review Worth the Weight

Lunch at Grand Emerald Seafood Garden

Emerald Seafood Garden Review

We are a Filipino food kinda family. It doesn’t mean we enjoy only Pinoy food or eat only that — it’s just that it’s our default food when eating out.

But one Sunday, for some reason, I was craving for Chinese. I don’t know why; maybe my MSG levels were depleted. Kidding, kidding. Peace! Seriously, though, we don’t use MSG (or vetsin) at home, so sometimes I look for MSG-laden foods when I’m out. #confession101

So we decided to eat at Ahfat Seafood Plaza, a well-known Chinese restaurant here at Davao. However, when we got there, the place was full to the brim. The guard directed us to their other restaurant, Ahfat 2, but it miserably looked like a school cafeteria for some reason.

Perhaps they already so confident in their cooking that they didn’t bother anymore with aesthetics. Anyway, since we’re big on restaurant interiors, we abandoned Ahfat, crossed the carpark, and went inside a relatively less packed Grand Emerald Seafood Garden.

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Health and Fitness Lifestyle

Let’s Talk About Health Care

Health care in the Philippines

I didn’t report to work last Wednesday because I needed to see the doctor for my eyes. You see, I’ve had eye allergies for almost a month now and regular allergy meds are not doing the job.

HMO Philippines

This little boy came along

Well, if you know me, you would know that I rarely see doctors. I know it’s inadvisable, but I often resort to self-medication and/or natural remedies. However, as I age, I realise they’re no longer working. I also noticed that I’ve had more trips to the hospital this year than in the last 10 years of my life.

(Not including maternity checkups, of course. Those were not for a sickness.)

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Lifestyle Summer Summer Destinations

Baguio-Ilocos-Tagaytay Trip on a Budget

(Click on gallery above to view pictures.)

AKA How we toured (almost) half of Luzon for only around P3,500 per person

Last March, I took a week off from work (on second thought, I did not really work during February and March) and went to far places. Nope, we did not go outside the country, but we did have a grand time touring a far island: Luzon.  Well, half of it. Almost.

In a week, we were able to go to Baguio, Ilocos Sur and Ilocos Norte, and Cavite (Kawit and Tagaytay) — and little bits of Manila in between. Guess how much we spent for the trip? Roughly just about P3,500 per head. Add airfare and some pocket money, and the trip still won’t burn a hole in your pocket.

If you’re planning to embark on a similar trip, read on!

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Lifestyle Summer Destinations WAHM Diaries

Over the Weekend

Pearl Farm Resort Samal

Hi everyone!

How was your weekend?

Mine was uneventful. A little tiring but I’m still thankful it was uneventful.

You see, it was my maternal cousin’s birthday last Friday and they celebrated it at a quite popular resort here in Davao (Pearl Farm). We were all invited to come but my dad could barely get out of bed due to heavy medications and I had to work (no holiday for remote workers hehe).

I pray I can go to the beach, too…

My mum was going to turn down the invitation but my dad insisted we go. I told him I’d stay behind (and, by extension, Yuri) with him to be his nurse. And the rest was history. I was working on a holiday with a restless preschooler, and for the entire weekend, ran the household and tried not to get confused with what medicines my father needed to take at a specific time.

I couldn’t stand blood but sometimes I wish I took up nursing! Haha just kidding.

I also ended up filling up every possible container at home with water because there was an advisory of water interruption for 3 days. I guess I had an adrenaline rush (read: panic) because I easily filled up around 15 large Tupprrwares and Rubbermaids, 3 empty gallons of water, and a huge Orocan drum.

Guess what. We never lost our water. Oh well!

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Money Matters Tips and Tricks

How to Apply for a BPI More Fun Prepaid Card

BPI More Fun Prepaid Card review

You’ve been redirected from DavaoMommy.com.

This is part two of my post here.

And no, I am not paid to do this post. I am just amazed at this discovery and want to share it with you.

Before I begin, let me reiterate the difference between a prepaid card and a debit card. First, while you can use both cards for physical transactions, you can’t use debit cards online (at least in my experience!). Usually, in online transactions, when they ask for credit card details, you can’t input your debit card details. (An example is GoDaddy.)

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Health and Fitness Lifestyle Personal

10 Reasons Why I Need to Lose Weight

10 Reasons Why I Need to Lose Weight

I’m sad.

Last year, in my old blog, I talked about slowly gaining weight as I was weaning Yuri off the breast. He was just 2 years old then and was still nursing, but it wasn’t as often as his sessions when he was a newborn (of course), which made me lose a lot of weight. As in 20-25 kilograms.

I was gaining weight last year but it wasn’t so drastic since I still nursed, ate a good diet, and occasionally worked out.

Now, I’m yaya-less (read: no time for workouts), still a voracious eater, and completely stopped breastfeeding.

In other words, I’m fat. Huhu.

10 Reasons Why I Need to Lose Weight

To motivate myself to start dieting and find time to work out today, I  wrote this list of reasons why I need to lose weight.

TEN

Before, I used to be done dressing up in 5 minutes tops. I just pick out a pretty dress from my closet and it almost always fits me well.

Now, those 5 minutes easily extend to 30 (or more) because only so few of my clothes still fit me. If they do, I have to check in the mirror if I actually look decent in it.

NINE

Still on the issue of clothes, before, I’ll just order whatever dress or piece of clothing online and, when they arrive, they always fit.

Today, I have a bag of newly purchased but never worn clothes which I should either bring to the seamstress or re-sell.

EIGHT

I need to lose weight for possible future reunions and get-togethers.

SEVEN

I need to lose weight because I love how it felt when I was 10 kilograms lighter. Everything felt easy to do – even going up and down our stairs.

Now I just feel heavy and bulky and out of breath.

SIX

I can no longer take OOTDs. I tried but got horrified at the pictures. Okay, I’m exaggerating, sorry. Honestly though, I no longer feel as confident to have my picture taken as before.

FIVE

I need to lose weight because I don’t want to be bigger than Job – which makes it even more challenging because he’s fit. Haha. Huhu.

FOUR

I need to lose weight because I noticed I easily tire nowadays. I can’t even play with Yuri for a long time – which makes homeschooling difficult.

THREE

I need to lose weight because I need to go back to eating a healthy diet. We’ve started eating white rice again this year because a close family friend also recently started harvesting from his farm. But this month, I insisted we go back to eating brown rice.

TWO

I need to lose weight as a motivation to keep moving and minimise my own screen time. One of the woes of being a WAHM is the lack of choice when it comes to movement and screen time. You have to be seated for a good portion of the day in front of a computer.

I need to make sure I’m not a complete slob sedentary person!

ONE

And finally, I need to lose weight because my father’s been seeing doctors (with an s) since last weekend. Aside from high blood pressure (he had a stroke back in 2006) and gout, we found out he has high creatinine, which can lead to kidney ailments.

For the sake of everyone I love, I want to grow old healthy and without ailments. And, given my father’s medical history, I really need to exert more effort into living a healthy lifestyle.

Thus, losing weight is only a side effect.

10 Reasons Why I Need to Lose Weight

What about you? What motivates you to lose weight or maintain a healthy lifestyle?

Resort Review Summer Destinations

Pacific Heights Private Resort in Samal Island

Pacific Heights Resort Samal

You have been redirected from my review of Pacific Heights Private Resort on DavaoMommy.com.

Last Monday, I told you about our R&R slash supposed team-building with other village officers and youth. Which was promptly ruined when a group of gatecrashers, well, crashed the event. It was a good thing, though, that the resort we went to is a lovely one so our day wasn’t completely ruined. (It was also a good thing that they arrived at lunch and we were still able to have fun in the morning.)

Pacific Heights Private Resort

I’ve actually never heard of this resort before, which is understandable as it is quite new. As the name also implies, it is a village and the resort is supposed to be exclusive for them, However, for some reason, they recently decided to open the beach resort to the public. Yay!

I wasn’t able to take a lot of pictures because, for the first time ever, we went to the beach yaya-less, So I was constantly running after a little 3-year old whom we shall not name, and I was also constantly wet with seawater. But here are some photos that we managed to take:

On the way – actually, on the barge
Pacific Heights Resort Samal
Pacific Heights Resort Samal
Pacific Heights Resort Samal
Pacific Heights Resort Samal
Pacific Heights Resort Samal
Can you guess what they were playing? I told them that next time, we shouldn’t have medics in the fun run; we should have the medic in the teambuilding!
Pacific Heights Resort Samal
I just realized I don’t have a photo of the pavilion that we rented, so I borrowed this photo:

Via samalguide.com

It was a very clean resort and the sand was, like most Samal beaches, also fine and white. However, unlike Costa Marina, which we used to frequent, there were no big coral formations under the sea. Thus, you can swim barefoot without the risk of injury. In Pacific Heights Private Resort, there are also multiple water activities that you can do such as riding the banana boat and going “skin diving.”

How to go to Pacific Heights Private Resort

Go to Sasa Port, ride a ferry/barge (you can ride it directly or take your car with you). I was surprised with the speed of travel. A few years ago, crossing from Davao to Samal via barge took approximately 15 minutes. Now, it doesn’t even take 5 minutes! Upon arriving at the Samal pier, go right and just follow the road until you pass by Monfort Bat Cave. Pacific Heights Private Resort should be right ahead.

Pacific Heights Private Resort Rates

Entrance
  • Adult(Day Tour)- Php 100.00
  • Adult (Overnight)- Php 150.00
  • Kids (Day Tour) – Php 30.00
  • Kids(Overnight)- Php 60.00
Rooms with Aircon
  • Close Cottage(Small) Day Time – Php 1,500.00
  • Close Cottage(Small) Overnight  with 2 pax Break Fast- Php 2,000.00
  • Close Cottage (Medium) – Php 3,000.00
  • Close Cottage (Medium)- Overnight with 6 pax Break Fast – Php 4,000.00
  • Close Cottage (Large) Day Time – Php 4,000.00
  • Close Cottage (Large) Overnight with  10 pac Break Fast – Php 6,000.00
  • Open Cottages Day Time – Php 250.00
    Open Cottages Overnight  – Php 350.00
  • Green house (Dorm type without aircon) Php 350/head
Rates from SamalGuide.com: http://www.samalguide.com/resort/pacific-heights-resort

The rates above don’t include the pavilion, so let me add that the pavilion, for day use, is P2,500.

Credit Card Money Matters Product Review

BPI More Fun Prepaid Card

BPI More Fun Prepaid Card review

You’ve been redirected from my post on BPI More Fun Prepaid Card on DavaoMommy.com.

So I just got myself a credit card.

My first one, in fact, as I had always just borrowed mother’s CC for unavoidable transactions. I was wary of getting one because I don’t want to be into debt; thus, I almost always pay for stuff in cash. If I use a credit card, I like to pay it as soon as I can.

So why have I gotten myself a credit card?

Well, because it’s prepaid.

Remember what I said in my last blog? When I told you how we waited for almost 3 hours in BPI? Ito yun. I was lining up to claim by BPI More Fun Prepaid Credit Card.

Why did I choose this over other credit cards? 

Again, it’s prepaid, which means if I use it, I’m not using the money I don’t have. On the contrary, I will be spending my own cash (in card form). Think of it as the child of the credit card and the debit card.

What is the difference between a prepaid credit card and a debit card?

The difference between this and a debit card (which I also have) is that it comes with the features of a credit card: card number, security number, and is a Visa. The works. This means you can use it in whatever transaction requires a credit card.

BPI My ePrepaid vs. BPI More Fun

There are actually 2 prepaid credit cards offered by BPI: this and My ePrepaid. I first considered the latter but ultimately decided to get a More Fun card because of two reasons:

  1. It has a lower opening fee: P250 vs. P600.
  2. You can upload your own picture to serve as background for the card.

Oh yes, I’m not kidding. More than the lower opening fee, I gravitated toward More Fun because I can choose the picture I can use. Woot!

I decided to use a picture of Yuri when we were in Costa Marina.

The photo was ultra-crisp on the website but in person, it looked a bit blurred. Maybe this was intentionally done to highlight the card number or other features. Anyway, it does not matter because the actual card is cute enough.

As of now, I haven’t used the card yet. I submitted my account number for the enrollment of the credit card in my BPI online, and I didn’t check whether it has been enrolled already. I will do an update, though, once I finally get to use it!

I applied for this card online and it took around 3 weeks before I finally received an email saying that my card was ready to claim. I’m not sure, though, whether this wait has been made longer because I applied for the card in the middle of Christmas season. To show you what I did to apply and eventually claim the card, I will write a separate post later this week.

If you want more information about this card, you can visit BPI’s website. This is, in any way, a sponsored post. I applied for the card on my own accord and reviewed it because I think it’s cool.

This post was originally written in January 2015. 

As of now, I have already used my BPI More Fun Prepaid Card several times, including a couple of times with GoDaddy and one time with Photobook Philippines. I’ve also connected it to my PayPal account and used it to re-verify my account. It’s fail-proof and the best part is that I don’t have to think of debts to pay!

For instructions on how to apply for a BPI More Fun Prepaid Card, read this!

Food Restaurant Review Worth the Weight

Lunch at Zabs Buffet

Zabs Buffet review

You’ve been re-directed from my review of Zabs Buffet on DavaoMommy.com.

The original plan was to celebrate my birthday at Vikings. However, we had already tried it, and while we had a pleasant experience, I didn’t get to enjoy it fully because I was busy running after Yuri. Vikings is big, and my toddler was all over the place!

So I decided to look for another restaurant that is a lot smaller. I am willing to sacrifice the amount of food to save my sanity. Hahaha!

Another thing: being the big eaters that we are, it needs to be a buffet.

We have already tried most known buffet restaurants and hotels in the city. We haven’t tried Yakimix yet, but it’s out of the question, since the folks are not fans of Japanese food. However, during my preggy and newborn-mom days, a buffet restaurant opened and was popular among students and yuppies. I didn’t get to try it then, so we decided to try it now.

The place is not easy to miss. It’s just along Roxas Avenue and very near Aldevinco in front of Ateneo. The signage is also big, in-your-face-ish.

Zabs Buffet is a small restaurant; thus, do not expect to see a large variety of food. You will see the usual: salads, rice cooked differently, savory dishes, soup, lechon kawali (my and dad’s favorite haha), raw meat and fish that you can request to be cooked, and lots of dessert. In the center, near where we were seated, was the counter where food was cooked. There was a pizza station, crepe station, and takoyaki station (that’s what I remember).

My first plate (noodles, salad, and veggies). I didn’t post the photos of my other plates because they were too badly taken. I changed my camera settings and didn’t realize the resulting photos were poor. (And that is not my hand. That’s a toddler’s hand.)
Some of the desserts
Poor photo of the crepe station – thowee!
 

To “review” the restaurant, let’s begin with the cons because I think naman the pros can make up for them. Here we go:

CONS

Size

Like what I mentioned, the place is small. Therefore, do not expect couch seating. The seats, while comfortable, are plain and made for eating, not lounging.

Food Selection
Again, there is no “huge” selection of food. Given its price, it is acceptable. However, I also noticed there is little variety of dishes. For example, there were almost no fish-based dishes. Also no pasta. I was almost sad.

Air-conditioning
During the time we were there, we felt just a little of the air-conditioning. Okay, that’s putting it mildly. We weren’t sweating naman; it only felt as if we were just at home. Or maybe it’s because we were so near the cooking area.

PROS

Food Taste and Quality
While the food selection is not huge, I’m proud to report that there was not a morsel that I didn’t like. I really loved the lechon kawali (sorry to those who don’t eat pork), the pizza (even though I’m not fond of thin crust), and the spring rolls (lumpia). Every meat dish was soft and tender. Yuri and I loved the pomelo salad!

My final while-they’re-talking plate

Location
Again, it’s not hard to locate the place. It would be really stupid to get lost trying to find it.

My vet cousin

Ambiance
The place, even though it’s small and the tables are full, don’t fill crowded. Maybe it’s because of how the entire place is bright and well-lit.

What happens to tweens when they get overly full
 

Price
Next, it’s also very affordable. At only P329 per head (exclusive of drinks), it’s hard to complain!

Service!
And last but definitely not the least, service is impeccable. Waiters and servers welcome you with a smile. The chef and the cooks are also friendly and pleasant. Most of all, you don’t have to call anyone to serve you. The main waiter (or is it supervisor?) always looks at each table and knows what you need even before you make a pip. Waiters in other restaurants, in comparison, need to be called (twice and thrice) and still dawdle! None of this happened when we were there; everyone was just so pleasant and friendly. Now that’s what I call service!

………………………

And the biggest pro of all, Yuri enjoyed the experience, too, and didn’t run all over the place. For the first time in forever, I really got to eat!

Yuri’s OOTD
Doomagic Tuxedo Rompers used as top
Red jeans from H&M
Rubber shoes from Oshkosh

So, in summary, if you want a full gustatory experience, do not go to Zabs. But if you simply want to relax, hang out with friends, eat, and do all these without spending too much, by all means, try Zabs!

Zabs Buffet is at Paseo de Roxas Bldg., Roxas Avenue, Davao City
Store opens from Tuesday to Sunday (11:00 am – 2:00 pm and 6:00pm to 9:00 pm)
For reservations, call 221-4643 or 0939-9191672

I am not, in any way, compensated for this review.

Food Restaurant Review Worth the Weight

Lunch at Bistro Selera

Bistro Selera review

You’ve been redirected from my Bistro Selera review on DavaoMommy.com.

Bistro Selera review
My sister celebrated her birthday last Sunday and we made a reservation for lunch at Yakimix. We didn’t go to Abreeza right away, though, because we had a couple of errands to do at SM Lanang.

However, after staying in SM for a while, we decided na nakakatamad na to have to go to Abreeza to eat (then back again to SM for groceries). So we cancelled our reservation at Yakimix and decided to just eat at Vikings.

However ulit, when we went to Vikings (it was just around 10), there were already several people in line. We asked the staff if there’s an available table, and he said wala na. Everyone without a reservation is waitlisted and for a table pa talaga outside.

No thanks!

So we went to look for another restaurant since my sister and I were already hungry (#boa). Long story short, we decided to try Bistro Selera.

Since we were there early, they were actually still closed when we got there. The waiter immediately flipped the Closed sign upon noticing us though!

I was surprised at the smallness of the area but the interior design was cozy so everything worked. I also liked the touch of art on the walls.
Bistro Selera review Bistro Selera reviewBistro Selera review Bistro Selera reviewBistro Selera reviewBistro Selera

Since we were the first customers, it didn’t take long before our food was served. (Later, I would eat the best karekare I have ever eaten so far!) Here are what we ordered:

Bistro Selera Kinilaw

I haven’t eaten the kinilaw because I’m not a big fan of fish, but they said it tasted really great daw. The fish used is Malasugui (swordfish) if I’m not mistaken. I think this was Papa’s favorite dish among everything we ordered!

Bistro Selera Crispy Pata
This is Bistro Selera’s bestseller, which is Crispy Pata. I loved that the skin was crunchy and the meat was very tender. I just didn’t like the huge chops because they can be difficult to eat! #poiseproblems
Bistro Selera Karekare
In the photo, the dish looks bland but only because I took the photo before the stew was mixed.

This was the winner, in my opinion. I seem to always order karekare when it’s on the menu because it’s interesting how restaurants cook it differently.

But this karekare is hands-down the best one I’ve ever tried yet. The sauce was thick and very tasty. I like that it wasn’t sweet because dishes in other restaurants just taste like peanut butter. This was different because it was really savory.

I also loved the very tender meat (although I didn’t eat the other parts like the tripe). Also, unlike other dishes where the vegetables are mushy, the vegetables in this dish are crisp!

VERDICT:

FOOD: Yummy!!! I can’t wait to try their other dishes next time!

SERVICE: I can’t say anything bad about the service. Waitstaff was really attentive and observant of our needs. Friendly, too!

PRICE: Price is surprisingly affordable! We paid only around P1200 for the meal because the waiter recommended a Fiesta combo meal (Crispy Pata + Karekare + Iced Tea + Rice) for just P900.

I was really pleased with my dining experience at Bistro Selera and would surely go back to eat it again!

(Just writing about that karekare made me hungry. Grr!)

Disclaimer: This is not a sponsored post. 🙂

Bistro Selera Menu
Bistro Selera Menu
Bistro Selera Menu
Personal Real Estate Broker Diaries WAHM Diaries

Taking a Break

I haven’t blogged for days.

To be honest, I haven’t really blogged for months so that should not have come as a surprise. But I truly expected blog-arrhoea during the first days of my young blog. However, these past few days have been so incredibly busy it’s not even funny!

I’m not complaining. I’m grateful I’m buddy because it means I have the means to live.

It means that a lot of things are happening to me.

It means I’m healthy enough to do things and work things out.

It probably means I’m good or responsible enough to be trusted with tasks.

But yeah, I would be lying if I said I also wasn’t thankful it’s already Friday evening.

Parenting Blog

Let me give you a brief description of my week. It wasn’t really exciting so I’ll spare you the boring details.

On Sunday, I decided I can’t take my old laptop’s sluggishness anymore and bought myself a new one. My old laptop isn’t even that old. I’ve had it for barely a year. Oh well, papel.

On Monday, we welcomed two additional members to the Philippine team of Stay At Home Mum Australia. One is a news anchor at a local TV station while the other is a fellow mum blogger (hi, Pam!). I’m thrilled to see “my” (totally claiming ownership here!) team expand, but at the same time, I know I’d be busy training and teaching and answering questions! Again, not complaining!

I’ve also been given a big number of reports to make a few days before the deadline (which was today). Knowing working 8 hours a day wouldn’t allow me to finish all of those reports, I had to work overtime a couple of times this week. I’ve never done this when I was a freelancer! 😀

And let’s not forget my responsibilities as a “freshman” real estate broker. I had to go downtown a couple of days to fix my requirements for my HLURB registration. Good thing the government office is *gasp* efficient and *gasp* waiting was a breeze!

Fun fact: During both days I was out and about fixing my requirements, I had so little free time that I didn’t have eyebrows on both occasions.

My body is still tired from doing my government duties and working overtime (I finished working at 10 pm last night), so today, I signed off from work early (around 2:30 pm), took a shower, and took my 3-year old with me to take a nap. Zzzz.

Parenting Blog

Right now, if somebody made me choose between a new designer bag and a couple of hours of sleep, I’ll choose the latter without batting an eyelash.

Of course, there would be regrets afterward.

Seriously though, I’m so thankful for the break.

What about you? How was your week?

Personal

A Little Thing Called Mummy Guilt

Mummy Guilt | A Joyful Mess
Mummy Guilt | A Joyful Mess

Mummy cat and baby cat

Have you ever felt inadequate as a mum?

I had huge plans for my 3-year old son, Yuri. Don’t get me wrong; his dad and I still do. But sometimes, I doubt my capability as a mum to work those plans into fruition.

I know it’s bad and every wise person should know by now that comparison is the thief of joy, but I’m finding myself in that blackhole. It’s like having a Macbook. Once you go Mac, you won’t go back or something like that. Once you start comparing, it’s hard to stop.

Recently, I find myself comparing Yuri to almost every child I see, and I find myself worrying about his development. For example, one of his friends came to play one day. He’s only 2 and a half but bigger and slightly taller than my boy. It didn’t help that before that, I’ve been worrying about the lack of changes in his height and weight. Yuri had been an exclusively breastfed baby so he was never on the big side.

And then I see posts of kids already reading by 2 or 3; Yuri is still learning the letter sounds (phonics). Last night, I saw my friend’s post about her 3-year old daughter’s drawing of herself and her daddy. Yuri is just learning to trace. It has never occurred to me before, but last night, I feared that we made the wrong decision to postpone preschool this year.

As you might probably have understood, I made a 180° turn from a chill mum to a worrywart.

Mummy Guilt | A Joyful Mess

Biking while mum is working inside the home office

To be honest, I know deep in my heart that Yuri is doing alright. He’s conversant and acts maturely for his age, and he’s rarely sick (although we just discovered he’s allergic to shrimp – sadness). But I can’t help thinking about my own inadequacies. Did we, somehow, make some wrong decisions that might affect Yuri in some way? Are we spoiling him or delaying him in some manner? Are we not paying as much attention to his health as we should be? The questions are plenty. They are not helping at all, but they are plenty.

I haven’t shared this concern to my long-distance partner, Job, yet precisely because I know what piece of advice he’ll give me:

Pray, read your Bible, and don’t let your emotions rule your head.

And then he’ll add that he’s always there for us and that Yuri is doing great; he’s a smart and a good boy. I know he will say that not to make me feel better but because it’s what he thinks is true.

So I’ve done a lot of thinking last night. Instead of focusing on my what my son “lacks,” which may or may not be a figment of my imagination, I tried to think of everything that makes him special.

  • First, he’s the only toddler I know (so far) who knows the names of around 20-30 kinds of trucks and vehicles. I can’t even tell a front loader from an excavator (and yes, I learned the terms from him).
  • He builds this really well. He’s been building crude versions of cars, trucks and aeroplanes using his Mega Bloks since he was 2.
  • He might be clingy (another one of my mum-insecurities), but he surprises me sometimes by acting so maturely. He’s really defensive of me.
  • So he doesn’t know the numbers beyond 30 yet or the lowercase letters, but he can easily memorise songs and sing them in tune. Okay, a lot of preschoolers do that, but still, I find it amazing!
  • So he may not be as tall or as big as some kids, but he’s strong. Yes I am aware that Yuri’s arm is only a few inches wide and that his ribs are somehow showing, but the boy  could lift a mean load. Examples are my middle schooler sister’s school bag which is full of books and our freshly delivered gallons of water. Seriously!

Mummy Guilt | A Joyful Mess

In the end, I understood the meaning of my “exercise.” There are so much more things to thank for than things to complain about. Yuri is a special boy who may lack in a few things but is brilliant when it comes to other things. He may not be as big as his peers, but he is healthy. And strong.

Realising these things, I learn that comparison is really the thief of joy and that it is futile. You’ll end up nowhere except in the hole of your own insecurities, perceived to be bigger.